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How to become a boss that everybody hates

Tuesday

This post is about Work

This post has 11 comments

Dis­claimer: This guide is purely hypo­thet­i­cal, if sim­i­lar, it is purely coin­ci­den­tal. These actions are highly dan­ger­ous, kids are not encour­aged to imitate.

This is a guide to teach you how to be a boss that every­body hates. It is not easy to fol­low. But if you can ful­fill all cri­te­ria, in no time every­one in the office will hate you more than ever before.

  1. Slam the table very hard out of a sud­den and scare every­one in the office.
  2. Force your sub­or­di­nates to come to work on time and work extra hours everyday.
  3. When your sub­or­di­nates come late to work, scold them kao kao and when you come late to work, pre­tend to be very busy with work.
  4. Your sub­or­di­nates can­not be late and you can be late for 4 hours because of over slept.
  5. Use extremely low voice to talk over the phone and slam the phone after the conversation.
  6. Show off your fatty body to your sub­or­di­nates and teach them how to use a dumb­bell. When nec­es­sary, you can ask them to touch and feel your bicep “muscle”.
  7. Pre­tend to know every­thing and keep repeat­ing “I know I know I know” before your sub­or­di­nates can fin­ish his or her sen­tence, through­out the conversation.
  8. Giv­ing instruc­tions like “make what­ever what­ever what­ever changes” and expect your sub­or­di­nates to under­stand what it means.
  9. Ask your sub­or­di­nates to walk few hun­dred meters all the way to the other side of the build­ing just to help you carry a lap­top while you carry 2 books in your hand.
  10. Mod­ify the SMS sent by your supe­rior and for­ward to all your sub­or­di­nates so that they think the order is given by the big boss.
  11. Ulti­mately, you can sleep in the office, right at your desk, openly, while your sub­or­di­nates work tire­lessly to fin­ish the works.

P/S: Kevin designed a cheat­sheet poster that comes in handy when you need to have a quick ref­er­ence on the char­ac­ter­is­tics of a cocky boss.

Tuesday

This post is about Work

This post has 11 comments

4

CommentNo. 1

kevin1 July 200811:28 PM

pretty amaz­ing that you have this kind of idea about being this kind of cocky boss.. I think you should learn so that peo­ple will respect more

CommentNo. 2

chenglam1 July 200811:40 PM

well some­times it’s not a bad idea to have a cocky boss, 1st u will work harder and always be care­ful so that ur cocky boss doesn’t hv a chance to scold or crit­i­cize u and 2nd u guys will never short of gos­sip in ur office… haha.

CommentNo. 3

pluedin2 July 20089:19 AM

hha­haha! Cool shit dood! no.6 is super funny. haha

CommentNo. 4

kopiais2 July 200810:28 AM

now i know what’s that cloud tag words all about lolz

CommentNo. 5

max2 July 20082:42 PM

sound famil­iar hor?

CommentNo. 6

jiao jiao king2 July 20082:59 PM

haha­haha i knw i knw.… i hv the same boss oso.

CommentNo. 7

Dan3 July 200811:22 AM

wow .. glad and proud to shout out loud that .….….……LUCKILY MY BOSS ISNT AS BAD AS URS!!!

CommentNo. 8

okui3 July 200811:23 AM

Dun like that, at least he “try his best” to “help” u all to get the increa­ment. Hahahaha!

CommentNo. 9

batman4 July 200812:46 AM

nearly a week away from work place…
quite miss the i know i know and what­ever what­ever…
haha^^

CommentNo. 10

emike8125 July 200811:34 PM

Well, no one is per­fect and i hope you can learn from these mis­takes to become an exem­plary boss in the future! Don’t for­get to add num­ber 12 to the list above or cre­ate a new post for insincere/hypocrite/two-faced peo­ple. If you do not appre­ci­ate your boss do not spec­u­late behind his back when he tried his best to help you to receive a very good incre­ment! Once again, no one is perfect…so think about it! hahaha

CommentNo. 11

Stevo19 September 200811:58 PM

Chill…Brothers…understanding each other is the way to live our life together gather GAYLY.

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