dens|ee*

The moment of truth

Saturday

This post is about Life

This post has 9 comments

I received a let­ter few days ago, a let­ter from the Embassy of Japan.

I knew the pur­pose of the let­ter, which is to inform me about the sta­tus of my schol­ar­ship appli­ca­tion.

I was very ner­vous and my heart was beat­ing real fast I can even hear my own heart beat.

I wasn’t ready to open the let­ter in the mail room so I hold the let­ter firmly until I reached home.

I laid the let­ter on my desk, I sat down and look at it.

“What if I didn’t make it?” I kept ask­ing myself. Some­how I already knew the answer because the thought of “get­ting the schol­ar­ship suc­cess­fully” has never crossed my mind before.

I opened the let­ter and the first sen­tence read “We regret to inform that your appli­ca­tion for AYF schol­ar­ship 2010 has not been successful.”

My heart sank to the bot­tom of the deep­est sea. For a moment my mind was blank.

It took me around 10 min­utes to recover from the state of empti­ness. And it took me few hours to accept what has actu­ally happened.

I would be lying if I say I don’t feel dis­ap­pointed. I do indeed. But that’s the moment of truth and there’s noth­ing I could do to change it.

I did a lot of think­ing this few days. Well, not much on the out­come, but the les­son learnt was “do not put all the eggs in one bas­ket”. In other words, I should not have put all my hopes onto a sin­gle scholarship.

Any­way, I don’t blame myself. Back in time I was lost in life until I found the schol­ar­ship which became that some­thing I needed to hold onto.

I grabbed the oppor­tu­nity and moved on. Time goes by and with­out me real­is­ing it I was back on track.

Okay that was the past. Now what? The dream I was hop­ing for all this while has just van­ished into thin air.

What should I do now? What about my life? What about my career? What about my dreams?

I tried to analyse my own think­ing why I wanted the schol­ar­ship so badly? And all the signs seem to drill down to a sin­gle source — desire to travel.

The moment I under­stand this makes the schol­ar­ship not so impor­tant any­more because I know I can travel with or with­out the scholarship.

Trav­el­ling to dif­fer­ent places and cap­tur­ing all the things I see with my cam­era is some­thing that I want to do the most at this moment.

I have started to do my travel plan for this year. When my plans start­ing to mate­ri­alise I will write about it here.

Until then, to who­ever is read­ing this, live life to the fullest.

Saturday

This post is about Life

This post has 9 comments

6

CommentNo. 1

wong17 January 20104:56 AM

“get­ting the schol­ar­ship suc­cess­fully” has never crossed my mind before.

There is this say­ing “What­ever you think, you are always right.” The atti­tude is wrong and result the right think­ing. See!

CommentNo. 2

kopiais17 January 20106:01 AM

Hope is the soul of the life, if you do not have hope to hold on to in the dark­ness you will fall.

But your life won’t end with a sin­gle hope that van­ish. This is just the begin­ning. Live life to the max~

CommentNo. 3

max17 January 201010:03 AM

“What should I do now? What about my life? What about my career? What about my dreams?”

Didn’t know you relied so much on that schol­ar­ship application.

Hmm… but what if, you can’t travel as planned (what if la)? You’ll come back to this moment of truth again.

Hehe I’m won­der­ing on my own self as well. It’s like we’re rely­ing so much on the things that we can do / want to do phys­i­cally. It’s like we’ll feel like we’re wast­ing time if we stop doing any­thing that’s productive.

Maybe some­thing is missing.

Haha just my think­ing la…

CommentNo. 4

Ervin18 January 201012:06 AM

Good that you found the source of your desire. :) Go for it!

Author’s CommentNo. 5

Den­nis18 January 201011:20 AM

@wong
Maybe you are right… maybe I wasn’t well pre­pared yet…

@kopiais
Agree!!! If there’s no fin­ish­ing line, even­tu­ally we will start to think what’s the point of running…

@max
The rea­son for me to rely on it so much has a long and com­pli­cated story…

@Ervin
Yeah will try my best to make my travel plan a reality…

CommentNo. 6

Ted18 January 201010:56 PM

Not get­ting the schol­ar­ship may not be a bad thing after all. No doubt the dis­ap­point­ment may there but even­tu­ally you’ll look at it in dif­fer­ently when the best thing in life comes knockin.

Like I men­tioned ear­lier, it’s a bless­ing in dis­guise. In this case, God pre­pared some­thin even bet­ter for you, much bet­ter than the scholarship. :)

CommentNo. 7

Peter Yee19 January 201010:22 AM

I’m sorry for the appli­ca­tion result.

Me too, didn’t know you relied on the schol­ar­ship so much. But hey, it’s not like we only got THAT schol­ar­ship in the entire world. You can say “Japan, not yet! You wait me!” haha.

Think pos­i­tive ya!

CommentNo. 8

sooyin20 January 20101:19 PM

hmm.. now that i know… i shouldn’t put much hope on mine too.. let’s get plan B done first..

think pos­i­tive.. there’s always some­thing bet­ter ahead..

:)

CommentNo. 9

chenglam25 January 201012:22 AM

i know u were dis­ap­pointed but just treat it as a learn­ing expe­ri­ence, learn to keep mod­er­ate in what­ever u fac­ing, be it happy or sad and try to look things in pos­i­tive ways. im sure u’ll be back on track very soon and strive for ur next goal!

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